WEDDING WEDNESDAY: HOW I KNEW MATT WAS “THE ONE”
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Again, Wedding Wednesday was supposed to be yesterday I’m aware… but my blogging schedule took a little turn and then I decided to just make this post go live today.
Updates updates updates. Right now, I’m in this beginning-finalization stage. The stage where I finalize the date, place, guest list, photographer, officiant and important things I will need to have on that date. Other things like invites, car service, flowers etc. are not so important because it is still many a months away.
Anyways, I have picked a date and a place (eeek!) after having changed our minds on the date about 5 times now but we have gotten the date settled and are so incredibly excited to say that it’s going to be THIS YEAR. We are pumped, we are excited, we are terrified, and we can’t wait for our future.
But the real thing I want to talk about is how I knew Matt was the one.
There are certain things you never forget in life. Certain moments, memories, words, uhhummm when you get engaged, stick with you for so long.
If I told you I knew that I was going to marry Matt 19 days into dating would you believe me? I don’t even think I would believe myself but the way that Matt pursued me and his humble, loving, kind, spirit made it impossible not to fall for him. You see, 19 days into dating Matt took me on the most wonderful dinner to a fancy restaurant in Charlotte, Carpe Diem (also the place we went to dinner on the night we got engaged!), and planned a scavenger hunt for me. He hid little notes everywhere that I had to find with different moments, memories, and nice things that he thought about me were all the things written on these notes.
|Yep, still have all these notes in my wallet.|
I had dated a few people before Matt but Matt was so different. Matt believed in me, pushed me to be the best I could be, and had the most gentle spirit that could handle my crazy controlling bombarding nature at times. I never once, and still never have, felt any sort of pressure, shame, anguish, or fear in any way and have always felt so much love and kindness coming from this guy.
My mom always told me when I was younger to find someone with a similar spirit and love for Jesus like my dad and Matt is so much that I know he was just meant for me. I remember the first time Matt told me he loved me. Of course I had been thinking it for like weeks but was too scared to say anything because sometimes people with quiet personalities are suppperrrr hard to read (can I get an amen mom?) Little did I know, he had been loving me so well for all those weeks and that he was feeling the same way.
The support and love that Matt has showed me no matter what I’m doing has always been something that has made such an impact in our relationship. I’ve learned so much through dating and now being engaged to Matt. We have matured together, grown together, and still have so much to learn in this current season we are in and in the season we will have in marriage.
I guess the term “when you know you know” applies here. We started hanging out when we were both on such a strong spiritual walk with Jesus and it strengthened the beginning of our relationship so much. Matt makes me want to be a better person, a stronger Christian, a person who lives in the present, and plans for the future. He is better than the prince charming all girls have ever imagined when you’re little and he has so much faith and love for me that it astounds me to even realize.
I think knowing Matt was the one came easy because of the way he treated me and respected me. We have so much fun together whether we are watching a new TV series together, playing ping pong for hours, working out, or going on new adventures together.
I am excited for our life together in the future and excited for this season we are in now. Basically I’m just thankful that Matt is the one for me whom I get to spend forever with. So that’s how I knew.
I’M GETTING MARRIED!!
Monday, January 5, 2015
Guys guys guys guys guys! The day I have been dreaming of for the past 3 years has finally come….
I’M GETTING MARRIED!!!
Yes, it’s true for all of you who have been asking poor Matt various questions along the lines of: When are you going to pop the question? When are you guys finally tying the knot? Haven’t you guys been dating for forever? And guess what? HE ASKED ME.
So let me just tell you all about how he asked since I know that’s all you want to know of course and it’s obviously all I want to tell you about since I still can’t even believe that I’m ENGAGED. Yes, I’m engaged people. It’s not a drill. I repeat, it. is. not. a. drill.
Let’s start with Saturday morning. Around 10ish, Matt came over to my house and we hung out before going to run a few errands at Walmart and TJ Maxx. BUT. Before we left Matt started the day of surprise.
Let me rewind just a bit. Back in the beginning of December we had talked about not getting each other Christmas presents this year. Christmas came and went, and all the sudden last week Matt was like “I got you a present just so you know I ordered it and it won’t be here till like the 30th just so you know…” And I was all like well hmmm what am I supposed to get him? And then if I’m being completely honest I just kept asking Matt “Is it a ring?!” over and over until he finally looked me straight in the face and said “Morgan, please stop getting your hopes up, it’s not a ring.”
And you know what? He wasn’t actually lying. Before leaving to go run our errands together Matt said “Hey Morgan I want to go ahead and give you your present if that’s okay” and I was all like ummm yes please. So I walk into the Kitchen where Matt is and there is a Diamonds Direct box sitting on the table and I’m like beginning to hyperventilate and am like “WAIT WHAT?!” And he looks at me and says “Morgan, it’s not a ring.”
To which he was right. It wasn’t a ring but it was the most perfect diamond stud earrings that I absolutely love. I was shocked to say the least and was just stunned by the kindness, the amount of money that he spent on me (and the lack of money I had now spent on him), and the gesture of these beautiful earrings. He then goes on to tell me how he wanted to go ahead and give me the earrings so that I could wear them to our dinner reservations that night at Carpe Diem.
After finishing our errands we played ping pong for awhile and just hung out watching movies and drinking coffee together, talking, and laughing over random things; the most perfect rainy afternoon if you ask me. During this time, Matt just kept saying “Morgan today is all about you, I just want you to know that” which I thought was funny and looking back now realize how incredibly kind and humble the man I’m going to marry is! Anyways, we then got ready for dinner and my night was about to just be turned upside down with surprise.
We got to the restaurant and Matt had reserved a separated romantic seating area where it was somewhat private and just the two of us to enjoy together. When we got to the table there was the most beautiful pink roses waiting for us. I was shocked and so surprised to see that Matt had gotten flowers delivered to our restaurant for me!
After the most delicious dinner, we headed back to my house to hang out for a bit and watch a movie (or so I thought). When we walked into my house I told Matt that I was going to go change my clothes and that I would be right back to which he responded “You look great just so you know” and so obviously I was like well I’m definitely not changing now. Instead, I took off my high heels and put on my uggs to settle in for the night.
When I came back downstairs, Matt had made a fire and the lights were dim and I was just thinking about how romantic the room was looking (again, completely clueless because you see he had already told me that we would be going to look at rings the next week so obviously I reallllyyyyy didn’t see this coming). Then, Matt was like “can you turn some music on?” and I said of course!
After all this gets setup, Matt is standing in the doorway of the kitchen and I’m on the sofa in front of the fire and I looked at Matt and I said “come on over and sit with me.” He turned around and said, “hold on I need to get my ipad out of my bag.”
I didn’t think anything of this of course because I just thought we were going to watch some TV show or something on his ipad. But then, he walked over to the couch, got down on one knee and said “would you marry me?”
AND THEN I FREAKED OUT.
I mean like freaked out. Like kept repeating and saying “OH MY GOSH IS THIS FOR REAL? IS THIS REAL LIFE? ARE YOU JOKING? REALLY? FOR REAL ARE YOU SERIOUS?” For about 40 seconds. Then I realized like oh my gosh there is this beautiful ring in a box and I haven’t even said yes yet!! So then I of course freaked out even more and was like “YES YES YES”
And then came the waterworks. I cried and cried and cried and laughed and said “MATT WE’RE ENGAGED OH MY GOSH!!!” a lot. We called everyone because it was just Matt and I but of course my entire family knew and were just so excited for us. We spent the next hour just chatting and telling people and getting congratulated out the wazzoo and it was perfect.
And then Matt surprised me once again. He looked at me and said “I brought fireworks let’s go shoot them off.” And we did!!
And the best part about shooting off fireworks? Was that my sweet FIANCE yelled “I’M ENGAGED!!!” After we shot off the fireworks and I started crying all over again. It was perfect.
We spent Sunday planning parties, venues, dates, and tossing ideas around here and there with my parents and I am super excited to get wedding planning started and also slightly terrified but just so excited to start my life with Matt! So. Many. Emotions.
I also (thanks to Emily!) came up with our hashtag for the wedding which I feel like is a super big deal so our hashtag is #happilyeverhall and I know its corny and funny and I absolutely love it.
I also got to go through this box full of cards and letters and love notes that I’ve written Matt over the past 3 years that he has kept in this box. It was so fun to reminisce and read these notes and see how our relationship has matured over the past three years and how I can’t wait for what the future holds!
So basically, I’m GETTING MARRIED. And I’m starting a binder, planning, and I am just SO excited and actually hope to provide maybe some insight on wedding planning? Or I probably will just realize I’m not super fit for planning a wedding and just show you all the don’ts to do. Either way, I’m sure it will be a fun ride!
ONCE UPON A TIME….
Thursday, April 11, 2013
The story of Matt and Morgan…
This post may be a little bit longer than others because I’m going to be discussing how Matt and I started dating and all of that jazz. It’s a long-ish story and is a funny/good one so I hope you stick around to read it all!
It all started my freshman year of high school… Matt was a sophomore in High School and just oh so attractive. (We didn’t know each other at this point but here is a picture of what we looked like back in those days)
Weren’t we just so awkward? We were. So anyways, neither of us had any idea that the other one was really all that great or anything until about my sophomore year of high school and Matt’s junior year.
During my sophomore year of high school my basketball coach got her son’s church ball team together to scrimmage the varsity girls basketball team in order to make us tougher and all that. Of course we all loved this because all the boys on the team were super cute (Matt was on this team). So, here we are. Me playing basketball against Matt and his team of church-ball boys.
So this is how we lived our lives in high school, dating other people, hanging out with our friends, and passing each other in the hall way never even saying a word. Here is what high school Matt and Morgan were like:
Suze, a new teacher at our high school, told our school about how she was planning a mission trip to the Dominican Republic the summer before my senior year (and the summer before Matt went off for his freshman year of college). I just had to go on this trip. So, I talked to my parents and it was settled.
At the first meeting I remember looking around and seeing Matt with the girl that he was dating at the time in the meeting and thinking “wow, didn’t know Matt Hall was going to be on this trip, cool.” And that was that.
So, we get to the Dominican and we talk for the first time and become spades partners just by mere chance (really it was Jesus) and start to hit it off. Matt was so nice and a bit shy but just a nice guy.
(This was Jesus’ funny way of saying, “Hey Morgan, I have this great guy for you here and you’re going to be with him one day and oh yeah, you’ll also be going to Clemson so here is just a preview of your future).
This was our first picture together from the first time we went to the Dominican.
So anyways, we leave the Dominican and don’t speak again really but leave being friends and saying that whenever he comes home from college we will play spades and all that. And its true, every time he came home from college it made me so happy to see him. He was a good friend but not one that I really ever talked to but someone I was always excited to see.
So here we are, I’m living my life Senior year, dating a different guy for almost 2 years and Matt is in his first year of college at High Point.
And then, the summer Dominican trip rolls around again and its that time of year where we all get ready to go serve some families. I will never forget walking into the airport and going through my baggage check and getting to the group meeting spot and seeing Matt there looking a bit like a lost puppy. (Remember, he had been at college for a year and didn’t really know anyone on this trip other than me). So I immediately go up to him and hug him and am like “MATT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE OH MY GOSH!” Seriously, thats what I did. Matt then goes on to tell me that a spot opened up in the trip because another guy ended up breaking his leg and had to have surgery and that one of our chaperones called him a week before we were supposed to leave and said, “Hey Matt we got an all expenses paid trip to the Dominican and I was wondering if you would like to come as a student chaperone?” and so Matt dropped everything and said “Yes, I’ll go!”
So I am just so grateful because Matt is just great and we start catching up and all that and then we kinda just go our separate ways. He does his thing and I do my thing for a few days. (I am also still currently dating someone at this point in the story). So about half way through the week, I end up sitting next to Matt on the bus. This was a particularly long bus ride about an hour or so away. I had full intention of falling asleep on the way to the orphanage we were going to and I think Matt did too but we ended up talking the entire time. It was really great stuff.
So we play spades at night, talk during the day, and are just becoming good friends.
On the last night that Matt was in the Dominican (He and the large group we were with was leaving after a week but me and about 8 other people were staying for another week) we had a big group devotion. Matt got up there and shared his testimony to us. It was just so great. He talked about how easy it is to fall away from Jesus in college and how he’s learned how the party life will not fulfill you and just how Jesus is really the only thing you need in life and I’m just like “oh my gosh this is incredible I’ve never seen a guy talk about Jesus like this other than my dad woah.”
Matt had to leave the next day and so Matt and I say our goodbyes and he’s like “well I want to hang out when you get back” and I’m all like “yes please!” and all that sort of thing. So the next week I’m in the Dominican and Matt is in the United States. I am thinking about how my life is not on the track I want it to be, how I shouldn’t be dating the guy I’m dating, (let alone have started dating him in the first place) and just really trying to make sure that my life is right at this point. So, I realize that I need to get my life in order and get it on the right path with Jesus and so I spent the last week in the Dominican playing with kids but also allowing for the Lord to truly work in my life for the first time in my entire life. I confessed past sins, fell in love with Jesus, and truly became a new person.
So, I am flying home from the Dominican and I’m supposed to meet my current boyfriend at a wedding and I’m like I just can’t go because at this point I’ve realized the darkness in my life and know that I need to break up with my boyfriend to help get some of that darkness and temptation out. So my dad picks me up from the airport and I’m telling him everything about the trip about how I need to break up with my boyfriend about how I heard Matt’s devotion and realized that thats’ the kind of spiritual leader I need in my life and all that jazz.
Fast forward a little bit. I have broken up with my boyfriend, (which did not go well) and am on the way to my orientation for Clemson University incoming freshman. I have talked to Matt a little bit but not a ton since I have returned. So, I’m at orientation and we are texting. He asks me if I would like to go to lunch on Wednesday after I get back so we can catch up and so he can hear about the second part of my trip. I’m all like “sure!” Except, I have a dentist appointment that day and don’t think I’ll be able to make it to lunch so I ask if there is another time we can meet. He of course is all, “yeah no problem, why don’t we just get dinner?” And I’m like oh my gosh is this a date now? Are we going on a date now? Morgan, chill but let’s see where we’re going first. So I’m like, “sure! where do you want to go?” Praying that he doesn’t make me pick. And he says, “how about outback?”
And I’m like “Okay!” Except in the inside I’m like “OH MY GOSH I’M GOING ON MY FIRST DATE IN TWO YEARS HOLY COW WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR OH MY GOSH I AM SO EXCITED” And I’m also kinda like…..
For real though.
So Matt PICKS ME UP from my house, we go to Outback and are there for 2 HOURS talking and eating and catching up and it was literally one of the best times I’ve ever had. I was just loving life and it was so fun and I didn’t want the night to end. So I said, “Since you bought dinner, let me take you to my favorite frozen yogurt place Pinkberry.” (If you haven’t had it, then you need to try it because its the best thing ever). So we go to Pinkberry and we’re there for another 30ish minutes and all the sudden Matt looks at me and says, “I think I just saw your ex-boyfriend….” And I’m all like no way, not happening.
But oh yes, it did happen. And it was major awkward. Especially since Matt and I were just friends at this point, and it was just super awkward to say the least. I didn’t really know what Matt was thinking at this point and I knew that my ex-boyfriend was not going to handle seeing me on what appeared to be a date (even though Matt says that doesn’t count as our first date) and it was a whole shamble of yikes. Overall though, the easy going Matt didn’t think anything of it and was just really nice about the whole thing.
So, Matt drops me off at my house and we had already planned to go to dinner and play spades with another couple the next night and he says, “So would you want to come to my house before we go to dinner to hang out? Then we could just go to dinner together.”
And I’m just like….
For real, not joking, I was that excited. But I probably said something like… “Oh yeah, I mean I guess that’d be cool.” (You know, trying to keep it cool).
So, from there, Matt and I started hanging out more and more and then we became best friends and then we just kinda became a couple and it was great and he’s so great!
Here are some pictures of our relationship up to this point and all that jazz:
I know that this may sound cliche to some of you reading this, but I know that Jesus brought Matt into my life for a reason and at the right time. Yes, I may have made horrible grades my freshman year of college because I wanted to come home and see him all the time, but now that I’ve realized its not the end of the world to skype:
(Which we do a lot) and that its okay to go a month without seeing each other because I have to always know that Jesus has to be my first love before I can even consider having Matt. I am so blessed by the perfect plan of Jesus and the fact that I can now hang out with this cool cat who never fails to make me laugh.
So there you have our once upon a time moment.
THE GOOD THAT COMES FROM A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
Monday, February 10, 2014
I have been in a long distance relationship with Matt since my freshman year of college.
During my freshman year I struggled with balancing time here at college and time at home with Matt. I went home a lot(read: over 6 times) my first semester simply because I wanted to see Matt.
It’s hard to be in a long distance relationship, don’t get me wrong, but I have learned so much about myself through the entire process.
You see, when I was first going home to Matt and seeing him it was like I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that I wasn’t in a “high school relationship” anymore. I wasn’t going to get to see Matt at school or even on the weekends because we were now 2.5 hours away from each other.
We started dating the summer before my freshman year of college. I saw Matt just about everyday and we had the most fun summer together serving in the Dominican Republic, hanging out, playing cards, shooting hoops, and enjoying each other’s company all while getting to know each other better.
And then college hit and it was all different. I was trying to figure out how to be on my own and make new friends while still wanting to hang out with my best friend back home. It was really different and strange to be juggling this new chapter in my life.
And then my parents put their foot down and did me one of the biggest favors they could have done. They told me I needed to stop coming home and seeing Matt and create my life here at Clemson. While at first I was not a huge fan of this idea, in the end it was exactly what I needed.
College has been a humungous learning experience for myself over the years and a lot of it deals with being in a long distance relationship. Being in a long distance relationship is not the sole reason of where I am today (please don’t think that), it is just a small part. I’m so thankful for Matt and how far we have come since my freshman year, so below you will read all about how I have learned and grown through my long distance relationship.
Being in a long distance relationship has kept me grounded
I never got into the party scene during college because I didn’t really see the point. I’d been there and done that and already was dating a guy that I thought the world of so why would I want to go to parties? Matt knows how to handle me almost better than anyone I know. People, I am A LOT to handle, and he knows how to tell me when I’m wrong, when I need support, and he always has my back. I am a super big control freak and he goes with the flow so well but knows how to balance me out stupendously. Through all of this, he has kept me grounded in college and has been an aid in helping me with different situations and choices ranging from friends to class schedules (and he wasn’t even here in person to help me with a majority of those things!)
Being in a long distance relationship has made me independent
I talk to Matt and about Matt a lot. He’s my best friend first and my boyfriend second and I wouldn’t want that to be any other way. But through our long distance I am able to not depend on him. I don’t depend on Matt for my happiness, life satisfaction, goals, etc. I depend on Jesus and know that it isn’t fair to Matt to depend on him for those other things. I have gone over a month without seeing Matt and while that has been hard, it helps me not depend on him in a way that is displeasing to the Lord. Jesus should be my rock and learning to trust in Him has been something that has helped me tremendously through my relationship with Matt.
Being in a long distance relationship has made me grow up
As I was discussing this blog with Matt to make sure he was okay with me talking about him on here (as if he doesn’t get talked about enough already) I told him how crazy it is to look back in the beginning of our relationship to now and realize how much I particularly have grown up. I am pretty dramatic at times and didn’t always handle not being able to see Matt for awhile very well. Things come up, life gets busy, and school comes first so its not every other weekend that I get to see Matt like I wish I could. And that’s okay. It’s forced me to grow up out of my sheltered bubble and realize that there is more to life than waiting anxiously for the next time I get to see Matt. I no longer beg him to come visit or try to maneuver my schedule in order to come home. I have learned that I will get to see him when I get to see him and that I will survive. Living in the now is much less stressful then over-planning for the future (absence makes the heart grow fonder).
Being in a long distance relationship has made me cherish college more
Since Matt doesn’t go to Clemson I never have to worry about balancing my time with him and my friends. I see so many relationships struggle in this area and let me just say that I would be one of those struggling people if Matt and I attended the same college. It is incredibly difficult to find that balance between friends and boyfriend time and my friendships would suffer if Matt and I went to the same school. I think Matt is the coolest person in the world and I would hang out with him every second of every day if I could. But that’s not an option right now and that’s good for me. It’s healthy and good that I can hang out with my friends and do fun things with them like make sushi with them, get up for the sunrise, stay up late chatting, have girls nights, and so on and never have to worry about missing out on something with Matt. I’m in college and want to cherish these memories I have with my friends. I cherish everything I have with Matt but I know I will have many more memories with Matt in the future but this is the last semester I’ll be living with my best friends and doing fun things with them and I don’t want to miss out on any of it.
Being in a long distance relationship has made me appreciate Matt more
Since the time I spend with Matt is so precious when I do get to see him I appreciate and cherish that time so much more. We understand how each other works. We communicate more then normal because its our only way of staying connected while apart. We talk and talk and talk and learn more about each other daily. But, when I do get to see him I appreciate that time so much more. I don’t take that for granted and get so excited just thinking about the next time I get to see him. I appreciate Matt and so love getting to spend any time I can with him especially in person.
Being in a long distance relationship has helped my grades
Between my friends and Matt I would NEVER study. I already get super distracted by my fun roommates and adding Matt into that mix would make things even more complicated. Because Matt and I are in a long distance relationship I am able to graduate early because I kept school first over going home to see Matt (side note: Matt is not the reason I am graduating early, he is just a perk to a puzzle piece that fit together smoothly). I can be focused in school without wondering what Matt is up to because regardless of what he’s doing he is 2.5 hours away and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Being in a long distance relationship has helped me grow closer to Jesus
It’s really easy to depend on a guy (or girl) that you’re in a relationship with to give you all the satisfaction, love, happiness, and answers that you want. It’s even easier to put that physical human above Jesus. If you didn’t already know, I love Matt quite a bit but am so thankful that our relationship has been majority long distance because it allows me to spend quality time with Jesus. Jesus should always be the center of my life and I have learned that through dating Matt and through my personal time with Jesus. If I could see Matt everyday it would be harder for me to remember that Jesus can give me MORE than Matt ever could because He’s JESUS! I know that once I graduate I will be seeing Matt much more since I will be closer to home but I’m so thankful that our relationship began in long distance so I could learn to cling to Jesus first while dating Matt. Now that my faith is grounded in Jesus, I know that my future will be as well.
Being in a long distance relationship has grown my patience
I am not a very patient person at all. I want what I want when I want it (gosh that sounds so bratty and I promise I am not bratty in that way but it’s true when I say I have no patience for things). Not getting to see Matt all the time has grown my patience believe it or not. This will be the 3rd year that Matt and I haven’t spent Valentines Day together (believe it or not we have never spent valentines day together) and that’s okay! It’s okay because I will get to see him the week after Valentines Day and that I can be patient in knowing that it will be so worth the wait to see him for a few days! Matt is one of the most patient people I know next to my Dad and I have learned how to gain more patience through dating him but also through our long distance.
I’m so thankful for all the things being in a long distance relationship has taught me. While I do have days where I absolutelystrongly dislike being in this type of relationship, I am beyond blessed by how perfect Jesus’ timing is for everything!
It isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. Long distance is a blessing in disguise. So I challenge you to reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself if you are currently or have been in a long distance relationship. I promise once you start to think about it the floodgates will open and ideas will pour out of you. Reflection is a marvelous thing, so put it to use sometime and see what happens!
Remember: couples that box together, stay together.
Kidding I totally just made that up.
IF I DIDN’T HAVE YOU…
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
+I would be clueless as to what was going on in the world because you introduced me to the coolness of NPR.
+I wouldn’t understand the importance of tithing and giving to people because you have opened my eyes to what it means to be a servant of the Lord and also a giver to those in need.
+I wouldn’t get to hear about the funny stories you tell me about from when you were growing up. I wouldn’t get to ask you to tell me stories from when you were younger that make me laugh so hard I start crying.
+I wouldn’t be as witty as I am now because your wit keeps me on my toes and makes me want to be witty too.
+I wouldn’t know what true wisdom was because you are so wise in your decisions and choices for your life. You make decisions that many people haven’t had to make or do yet and it has shown me what it means to have true wisdom.
+I would never have found the perfect workout partner.
+I wouldn’t understand how the stock market works, how investing in general works, or the true importance of budgeting.
+I would never have met the most perfect dance partner.
+I would never understand the true meaning of being pursued because even after 3 years you continue to pursue me daily.
+I would never have found out about the awesomeness that is 9round because you introduced me.
+I would never have read the book “When God writes your Love Story.”
+I wouldn’t have near as many nicknames as I have now.
+I would have gone through life missing a huge piece of the puzzle that you fill up now in so many happy ways. You light up a room Matt and you light up so much of my life.
+I wouldn’t understand how much you can grow, as an individual, through a long distance relationship.
+I would be bad at the speed bag because you taught me how to hit it correctly.
+I wouldn’t have seen half the movies I’ve seen now.
+I wouldn’t be able to kill the spiders you hate killing and I wouldn’t have someone to kill the cockroaches that I despise.
+I wouldn’t have a new polar watch or chromecast out of the blue just because you care.
+I wouldn’t have anyone to vent to and listen the way you do. You drop everything to hear about my day whether it’s good or bad and it means the world to me.
+I wouldn’t have anyone to watch Tank for me or love him as much as I do.
+I wouldn’t push myself out of my comfort zone but you give me the courage to do so.
+I wouldn’t have anyone to argue about whether the phrase is “everyone and their brother” or “everyone and their mother” (we all know it’s mother… and I am right).
+I would never experience true encouragement because you encourage and uplift me constantly and it means so much to me.
+I wouldn’t enjoy working at 9round because working with you is like not working at all because you are so fun.
+I would never have learned how to shoot a bow and arrow.
+I would forget how precious life is and how each day is about the memories and adventures you can do that day.
+I wouldn’t have the best accountability partner to help me keep up with my goals for myself and our relationship.
+I would wonder what it was like to have a spiritual leader in a relationship because you lead us straight to Jesus.
+I would have no one to dress up for or someone to tell me I’m beautiful even when I don’t dress up because you never forget to tell me.
+I would be clueless when it comes to exercising because you know so much and can always answer my questions.
+I would search all my life for someone like you, Matt. I would wonder if I was going to find the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I would search for my prince charming and never find him if I didn’t have you. I would miss out on such fun sweet memories and long for someone to share companionship with. But most of all, I would never realize that God has brought you into my life to show me that the love you have for me is just a smidgen of the love Jesus has for both of us. I would realize that your love for me is just a glimpse of the love Jesus shows to me everyday. I would be reminded that this love from Jesus is something that I want to cling to more than I cling to you and that you want the same thing for yourself.
So today, I’m thankful that I do have you. Having you as my boyfriend and my best friend has been the best 3 years and the most fun time I’ve had in this life. Having you has taught me how to have Jesus at the center of my life with you and our family and friends in the surrounding. Having you has taught me how to be bold, live life vivaciously, and love effortlessly. I’m thankful for you, goodlookin’, thankful to get to enjoy this sweet life with you.
HOW DID YOU DO IT: A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
A few months ago, I did a post about why being in a long distance relationship was good for me. This was purely my own opinions on how this has personally impacted my life and the good that has come from that learning experience.
Now, I am no longer in a long distance relationship with Matt (praise Jesus) and am now in what we like to call a “short distance” relationship because we now live about 30 minutes away from each other and see each other on the weekends.
Today though, I want to share all the things I learned in a long distance relationship. Often our friends and family will ask us (if they aren’t asking when we are going to get married) about how we did it. How did we go through a large part of our college life (all of my college life-3 years) in a long distance relationship? Many people just can’t do that so how did we do it?
There is not exact answer to those questions my friends. I can’t tell you a specific formula that allowed Matt and I to “make it” in our long distance. I can’t tell you that it’s a piece of cake, a walk in the park, anyone can do it, because those are not true statements. I can tell you, how we did it. But before I do that I need you all to know that none of what is listed below could have been completed without Jesus. I know that Jesus sent Matt to me and said “here Morgan, here is your perfect guy on every level for you who will love you in all of your moments and I’m going to give him to you right when you need him and it will be hard because you will be away from him, but it will bring you closer to Me.” Because that’s how great my Jesus is.
Anyways, here’s how we did it. Also prepare for tons of pictures, obvi.
attitude. I can’t even explain in words how attitude is everything to making your relationship work. You have to have a positive realistic attitude when dating someone via long distance. Listen, you have to be selfless if you are going to be in college (or in another state or whatever) and be in a long distance relationship. You have to realize and want for that other person to take advantage of opportunities to hang out with friends, do fun things, and experience life even though you aren’t there. This was hard for me. How could I be okay with Matt going to do something fun if I couldn’t be there (hello life of the party over here and I want to be part of everything)? I had to shift my attitude and perspective and realize that if he was happy, how could I not be happy? And vice versa. Don’t suck the life out of someone just because you can’t be there to enjoy something with them. Check yo attitude.
support. With selflessness comes support. If you can’t support your significant other/fiance/wife/husband/whatever in the long distance how can you expect to support them when times get rough? Matt not only supported me through everything while I was in college but I supported him too. This was something that helped our relationship grow so much. He encouraged me to try new things when my reclusive uncomfortable nature kicked in; he recommended things to help me branch out and experience new things; and the most important thing that Matt did for me was he never once the entire time I was in college made me feel like I couldn’t do something. That sort of support is what helps you make it through a long distance relationship. The kind of support that is there for you if you go to a party with your friends your freshman year and realize it was a bad idea and that you want to leave; the kind of support that listens to you cry on the phone when you did bad on a test; the kind of support that understands and is there when the random drama that you thought you left in high school comes back to haunt you; the kind of support that makes you feel like you’re being hugged even though your hundreds of miles apart. That kind of support, is key to making your long distance relationship work.
celebrate. It is so easy to get down in the dumps when you miss someone. It’s so easy to get bogged down and feel like the days are going by like years and that you will never (insert incredible dramatics) see your best friend. And guess what? This attitude and these emotions will come and they will be horrible and you will want to just cry from missing that person so much but it will only make it worse to dwell on those things. Celebrate in the fact that you are one more day closer to seeing that person. Celebrate in the fact that you are single for this season. Celebrate the things that Jesus can teach you during this time before marriage. Celebrate and take your mind off of the countdown to seeing he/she and think about celebrating a good test grade, a new friendship, what you’re learning from Jesus, how your day is going, that you got Starbucks today whatever it is be happy about it because that will keep you from getting down in the dumps. Celebrate, for life can be hard sometimes and you will want to look back and think “man I’m glad I was happy and did fun things while we were in a long distance relationship” instead of “man I wish I hadn’t sat on my bed every weekend alone watching too much Real Housewives of Orange County.”
communicate. Oh I can’t even stress how important this one is. Matt and I talked on the phone every single day multiple times a day. You have to figure out your schedules and how they work. One year, Matt and I couldn’t talk until 8 at night every Monday due to both of us being in class all day and then having to work that night and that was okay for us. No, we didn’t text all day long (goodbye middle school) but we sent each other funny emails, a few texts, wrote each other letters, and just tried to look forward to when we would be able to talk. And I mean you really have to communicate when I say communicate friends. If you are struggling with something, happy about something, sad, distressed, unsure, weary, feeling lonely, upset, joyous, etc. you need to tell that person. You need to have meaningful important conversations on the phone out loud or via skype. These will be what help you so much. Listen friends, your significant other can’t read your mind. ESPECIALLY if you’re in a long distance relationship. You can’t expect that person to know when you’ve had a bad day by the “hello” you’ve uttered (although Matt can tell now because he knows me that well) you have to literally tell them (especially men, you have to spell it out for the men, sorry guys but it’s true) what’s going on. They just won’t know unless you tell them so talk and communicate or else say goodbye to making your relationship work (sorry that was harsh but I’m just trying to be real with you all).
trust. First off if you can’t trust the person that you are with then listen to that voice in the back of your head, figure out why you can’t trust them, and then get out of that relationship or address it as soon as possible. This one I almost didn’t even mention but I think trust takes on a whole new level when you’re in a long distance relationship. If you dated in college and saw each other everyday, you may realize that not seeing that person everyday is incredibly difficult. You may also find yourself becoming jealous if that person begins to develop a friend group that you aren’t part of with girls or guys in it. You may say you trust your significant other, you just don’t trust the people he’s with (because you’re a little jealous… that’s what I’m beating around the bush to say here). Jealousy will crush your relationship. It will ruin it and it will put a burn a hole and form a wound that can’t be fixed. Now I’m not saying that you can’t be jealous of some girl getting to be friends with your boyfriend or vice versa. I’m saying you can’t let that jealousy get to you. You can’t let that jealousy (and the devil) plant thoughts in your head that are untrue. You can’t let that jealousy grip you and turn you into a bitter person who blames their significant other. You have to remember to have the right attitude, to communicate (listen if you’re jealous just tell that person! I promise it will help so much if you just voice it rather than burry it), to express your thoughts and emotions.
patience. Patience will be a virtue to say the least during this season of your life. It will be hard. It will be tough. It will feel like the world is ending at times but you have to have patience in order to keep your sanity. You have to know that in a few days/weeks/months you will be reunited and your patience will be worth it. This is why communicating is so key because it helps with patience. Talking and communicating allows for you to fill that space with something so that you aren’t losing your mind from missing that person.
love. You just have to love. You gotta show love. You gotta lean on that love. You gotta know that this season will pass eventually and that your love will grow if you work at it. Love will help you more than anything but you gotta want it. You have to want to make it work and you can’t give up on love.
It’s not easy friends. It’s not something I want to go through again but I will if I need to because I don’t worry about long distance anymore. So when people ask me “how did you do it?” my response is normally just a shrug and a look toward Matt. He gets it. He gets me. In my opinion, if your relationship can’t last the distance then how can it grow? How can you learn? How can you get through the hard times together? Distance makes the heart grow fonder and it can teach you so much during that season. Trust in Jesus, lean into each other, and (in the words of Matt when I’m having a rough day) know that every little-thing is gonna be alright (#bobmarley)